Christmas was really relaxing this year. It felt quiet, yet everyone was in a happy good stress-free space. We were missing a few Chordas kids and Pablo. But the fun still went on. I brought over the vodka my co-worker Linda gave me and pretty much everyone had at least one shot, some of us had more. As I put it....
"This Stoli is the best vodka ever. It is so smooth. You feel drunk but you never get sick. It is like magic."
As my dad put it...."At costco you can buy a gallon of it! Next time I see it I will get it."
As my mom put it... "I don't like hard alcohol, but this is really good."
My family. We are not alcoholics. We are just Russian. And we like a good time.
Christmas was a good time. It was happy. There was lots of love. Everyone was more than generous with their gift giving. I got rasta shoes.
I received many, many costa rica books. We are buying tickets this week. And let the travel planning begin! I can't wait for the adventure to begin. It will be so cool. All the animals. The exploding volcanoes. Baby sea turtle season. Seriously, I can't wait.
Now we are off to Mendocino for mushroom hunting. Hopefully it will turn out well.
I hope everyone had wonderful Christmas' with their family. Filled with lots of love, because Family is the most important thing.

Last night was my 5 yr high school reunion. It was a fun time at Sudwerks. The only disappointing thing was the beer was bottled. They didn't serve it from the tap. What's up with that? Oh well. I still had my beers and a good time. It was good to see people I have not seen since high school. And at the same time there were so many people that were still the same person and there were so many people I didn't even know. I really didn't know a lot of people in high school. Where was I? Sheesh. It was still a fun party. I mean if there is a party and I was there...of course it had to be fun :P

Tonight another Chordas tradition...with russian vodka...a happy christmas for sure.

Lots of pictures to come.

Today was my last day working my office job at the city. It really was bitter sweet. How I am going to enjoy not having to wake up at 6am any more. How I will enjoy not staring at a computer for 8 hours a day. But there is so much I will miss....
The stress-free life of not being in grad school
working for the best boss ever
laughing with my co-workers about all our inside jokes
spending 8 hours with people that became some of my best friends
I never felt so sad leaving a job in my life.

The dept. took me out to lunch this week and gave me presents that were ALL brown. They always joke how I wear brown everyday...so they gave me a brown city sweatshirt. Seriously I left real quick today. I couldn't day bye to anyone. Otherwise I would have cried. Sometimes it kills me that I just gave up an amazing job I worked so hard to get. I really did. Now I feel like I am back at stage one, but sometimes it seems like it is worse than after undergrad stage one. Who will hire me with a masters? I won't have a phd so all the teaching jobs will go to them. I won't be able to get an office job, because I will require more of a salary than someone with just a BA. Pretty much I am scared of the in-between situation I will be in after my masters. I know better than to think I will live off a published book.

And grad school is so stressful. I got my grads and I did amazingly well. Two A's and a B+. Yet I am not as excited as I thought I would be. Maybe I am too hard on myself. But this qrt I started off so excited and I really did end discouraged. And even though I got good grades I still feel discouraged and I can't figure out why. I never felt like this in school before.

I'm going to miss my job where I only felt encouragement and laughter.

My baby sister is in Africa
My brother is in Hawaii
I dream of traveling to Jamaica. No London. No Greece
I feel deprived in this small town Davis. I am excited for the holidays, even though it will be lonely without my two siblings.
I finished my qrt. I have been working and dreaming of traveling.
This weekend I have my high school reunion. It should be interesting.
I wish we all had money to just travel.
I still can't believe Ana is in Africa and can't imagine everything she is seeing and experiencing. A trip of a lifetime. What a lucky kid.
I want African food now...
Off to find dinner

Last week of my first quarter as a graduate student.

School is killing me. I think tonight will be an all nighter. I have figured out why grad. school is so much harder. In undergraduate I learned the manipulation of bullshitting. I learned to bullshit well and creatively.

There is no bullshitting in grad school.

The creative part is ok. But the theory and criticism part is killing me.

I just finished reading Lolita today. I am making a project on the book Lolita. The project part is fun. But I don't know how to tie it into theory and process. I am making a mobile with multiple layers to represent the nyphness of girls.

Nabokov is an amazing author. The games he plays with language and metaphors completely blows me away. And it is sad to think I never picked up the book in the past just because of the content. Who cares about the content. That man is a mastermind writer.

Class at Pam Houston's house tonight.
Then the Lolita project.
And then my research paper: Comedy and Court Dispositions as Genre in the 16th century.