Sierra Nevada should have hired me as a sales rep. I guess I might be pretty good at convincing people about certain things. I get excited about recommending beer to perplexed strangers in the beer aisle at the grocery store, convincing ten people they should come with me on an off the beaten path trip to Costa Rica (all planned by me who never went there and didn't know what to expect), convincing people what art supplies would be best for them (sometimes I miss my job at the hobby craft), and convincing a friend it is a good idea to stick a raw hop bud in your mouth (only to loose all aspect of taste for the next hour or so). Now I can add convincing an editor to read my story to the list. I could say another one bites the dust, but for some reason I am just happy I was able to somewhat sell myself in my cover letter. I have always dreaded queries and cover letters, so getting some positive and individual response on that sort of made my day. Are rejection letters supposed to do that? Are they supposed to be this nice?
I guess rejection isn't as bad as I thought or maybe I am just hopelessly positive:

Dear Melissa,

Thanks so much for giving us the opportunity to read your work. We are humbled to be receiving so much great work this early in our existence.

Based on your cover letter, I\'d say we had a whole lot in common. I have also done a great deal of traveling and stare at maps endlessly...and also plan vacations I know (at least unconciously) I\'ll never take. Anyway, I\'d say on Burning the Buttes that you have a great first paragraph. It engages the reader and sets high expectations for the story, which I didn\'t feel quite lived up to those expectations. Sorry to disappoint, but anyone who loves maps is welcome to submit here anytime.


Thanks again,
M.E. Parker, Editor
Camera Obscura Journal

I hate our health care system. Seriously. So I was sick, getting better and went to the doctor. She told me to rest and drink fluids but I am on the road to recovery. It cost me $88 to hear something I already knew. I got better. And then fell down the deep end again. Sunday night I had body aches, and my chest felt like someone was pushing down a bag of bricks on it. Monday morning I woke up with my sheets soaked and pajamas soaking with sweat. I took my temperature and had a fever. It semi-freaked me out, because I have never broken out in a sweat like this. I took IBprofin and felt fine. I went to work and worked a 7 hour shift and went out with my friends at night. I felt normal, besides my cough and sometimes uncomfortable pressure on my chest. I wish I could just be normal. I hate feeling these things and also feeling like I can't go to the doctor because I might be sent home with nothing but a high bill. This morning Lisa woke me up worried because she saw something on H1N1 that said if symptoms subdue but then return as a fever and cough call the doctor immediately. It sort of freaked me out. I went onto the CDC website which stated an emergency symtom is when a cough and fever returns. I found a way to email my doctor which was free but limited to 500 words. She got back to me right away and said if a fever persists come into the office. But I don't have a fever today. Should I go? I feel fine enough. My chest is a little tight with a cough. Why does all of this happen to me now. When my health insurance is shitty. If I knew I would only have a small co-pay I would go. Do you see what this healthcare system is doing to people? When they might actually need to see the doctor they dont. It really is a health care system for rich people. I hate it.

I was on the phone with my insurance company (blue shield) for almost an hour yesterday. They just frustrate me and by the end of the phone call I wanted to tell them to "fuck off."

On top of being sick my doctor wants me to get an echocardiogram for a heart murmor. This is pretty much the only thing that came out of my $88 doctor's apt. Oh but the echocardiogram costs $2000 unless insurance covers it. Since I have a pretty much emergency plan I called insurance yesterday to find out how I can switch to a plan that will cover the test. They told me none of their plans will because it is pre-existing. I tell them well they have been my insurance company since I was a baby and just because I am on my own plan and not my parents now, that doesn't mean I have been on their company. THey have received insurance money for me my whole life. How can this be pre-existing and they wont cover it, if they are the only ones who have covered me?! Seriously. Idiots.

I just want to get better. It is so frustrating when you feel fine enough, but not normal enough. I can't stand resting. I need to do things. I started running this last weekend (probably not a good idea since I still had a cough) but it is something I am excited about and want to do. I need to work so I can make money to pay the health insurance companies that wont completely pay for me. It is such a terrible cycle. Our government is so screwed up in many ways. I think I just need to not stress about it. The more I stress, the worse I get. If I am positive I'll recover, right?

This weekend Mendocino! I am super excited and hope for lots of mushrooms.