Everyday Ramblings

Turning 24 felt like I was living in one of my favorite stories that I didn't want to end. Mendocino was everything I imagined it to be and more. The weather was perfect, I could sleep in a cozy bed and eat yummy breakfast. I could just sit on the beach and read or play with my mendo dog. I went shopping and had a wonderful dinner with the best desert in my life. But best of all I went mushroom hunting. And for once in my life I was lucky. I came out with about $40 worth of chanterelles. This was the first time I went and I have to say it is one of my new favorite hobbies. I could now understand my parents ultimate excitement. It is like a scavenger hunt by nature. And when you find a little secret spot you get adrenaline and excitement all at once. I brought them home to my parents who went crazy. I felt so happy that they were so proud of me. Mushroom hunting is like a secret off the marked trail that you will always remember.

Caroline came to Davis on Friday and took me out to yummy Indian food lunch. My coworkers at the city brought me a birthday cake yesterday and then took me out to dinner last night. It was so fun. They bought me a gift certificate for a massage. I have never had one before. I am really excited. Really. I had such a good Birthday and I felt so lucky to have so many people that cared about me. The only bad thing was homework. I got none done and loosing a weekend puts me behind. But hey you only have a birthday once a year.

When I was in Mendocino I went by Claire's cabin. The place we used to stay at for free only to find it is on sale. If only I had a million dollars I would buy that place. It is so special to my family and there are so many good memories that live inside the walls of that old cabin. It would be amazing if I could fall upon money. I would go straight to mendocino and buy that place.

Yesterday I took Jaime for a walk on the ditch. It was the first time I walked there since the whole Pablo incident. It was like reliving that last walk that could be the one that cost him his life. The path is all dried dirt now. I found myself wondering if any of the mud dried paw prints were his. I remembered everywhere he ran off the trail and everywhere he smelled. I missed him again. My dad said mourning a dog is a lot harder than mourning a human in many ways. A dog is there to see you everyday. It is there to experience untold moments that many humans never even get to hear about. Sometimes I think it is silly to mourn a dog more than any person that ever died, but then I rewalk the walk, I see the dried pawprints, I hear Pablo barking after Kuma, and I see Jaime watching/learning everything. Then I think about memory. How this walk will forever be a slow motion time capsule to me, because it was the last walk. If he was alive still. That walk would be a memory lost/merged into the many walks. It would be a walk that I would have forgotten in a few months.

It is like we live a life we have no control over. Not even the memories. It is like we are characters in a story that someone is writing. We are alive only because our story is being read. My first grad. story is being read and workshopped tomorrow. I hope people will laugh. I want people to read my stuff and not only be perplexed about awkward situations that can be humorous.

Back to studying.