The Places We Call Home

Ever since I have been back from Russia I fell into a sort of funk. I was homesick for a country and place I had a strong connection with. Over the years I have come to know myself as someone who doesn't like change and cannot stand the idea of moving away unless I am completely comfortable with the place. I have felt this comfortableness with very few places in my lifetime-Mendocino, Davis, Seattle, and now Moscow. It is something hard to describe to people and hard for others to understand. I even have a hard time understanding myself- why these places? I mean I travel to Costa Rica, Canada, Boston, and many other places...I love each vacation and trip and place and memories formed from these places, but I never feel a yearning for them like I do for my top favorite places. As a way to try and understand place and why, I have been thinking alot about identies and who are we based on the places we connect to or live in. I mean, luckily, I was able to do a whole thesis on this topic and explore it through creative stories rather than research and academic articles. I was able to create fictional characters to figure out why they do what they do and who they are based on their locations. My thesis and stories allowed me to put my questions and ideas on the page, but conclusions still seem far off, like a journey that may never end until life does. Do we feel connected to the places based on only certain experiences? That doesn't make sense. I mean one of the coolest things I have ever seen in my life were breaching humpback whales (only feet away from a boat) in the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Boston. or Oktoberfest in Munich- no party or beer could amount to this event. These experiences have not pushed me to want to live in Boston or Munich. Could it be the homely experiences that bring comfort? Sitting in a Moscow Apt. while it rains outside, with a beer and good music? Or being able to eaisly navigate in the dark through my old room/child-home house in Davis while there is a power-outage? Or listening to the ocean waves while enjoyed a coconut latte at Moodies in Mendocino? Or instead of the small comfortable experiences, could it be the people? Family that is there to take shots of vodka with you in Seattle, or family to go mushroom hunting with in mendocino? This last weekend I went to visit Palina in San Luis Opisbo and I think I really needed to. Ever since spending a few days with my little sister I have felt so much better about being back in California. I remembered how hard it is to be away from people you have a strong connection with. I wished she lived closer to me so we could laugh about the small things in life and enjoy dog expeditions together. So is it the people that allow us to yearn and connect to the places? Or could it be the challenges and outcomes we experience at a place? Like graduating from college (twice) while working harder than ever in my life in Davis? Or learning the small things in Russia- like reading metro signs or ordering a beer in Russian?
Place.
It has to be one of my favorite words, because of all the unanswered questions running through my mind everyday.