Pretty much my life continues to be filled with days of teaching, planning to teach, and grading students work. When I am not doing any of those things I have been trying to cook more (less frozen Annie's food) and I spend multiple hours a week playing/entertaining/training dogs (Sam and Jaime in particular).

I've been enjoyed this qrt. alot. But...as time gets closer I start freaking out how I have been avoiding my thesis. I do need a break from it. I feel like my heart is in teaching to write at the moment not in writing myself. (There's good and bad with this). At some point I will need to get my butt back into the groove of writing. I feel like I am out of ideas. Any suggestions?

As of teaching. I still get so nervous, but it is getting so much better and I really am starting to love doing it. Right now I have a stack of 40 exercises to grade (I am in the middle of grading but taking a break-hence the blog post). I am so excited though. This is the third exercise from my students and they actually are really improving, taking my suggestions and tips from lessons and applying it to their own work. I feel so proud. I feel like successful parent or something. Today one of my student's came to my office hours to tell me she really is enjoying my class and loves the comfortable atmosphere I have created. She said she has always liked writing but has been way too intimidated to share anything. She has wanted to take this class for over a year but has been to scared, now she is finally doing it and she came to tell me I make her feel like she can actually write. I must say it made me proud.

I just feel happy. It's been a good last three days. First a day-off at the beach with dogs, then the change in leadership yesterday, an inspirational/exciting/ intelligent speech (I watched with my dog and tried telling him once the economy now gets better he will get more toys- I don't think he understood), then a great class last night (I lectured for almost an hour without noticing the time! I usually lecture 20 minutes), and then now reading the students work and talking with one this morning.

I really love inspiring people and offering them advice. I don't like public speaking and could possibly do without the lecturing to large groups. I need to find something where I can be a guider. I like guiding people.


Cupcakes I baked from scratch- vanilla peppermint-coconut




Dogs Playing on Muir Beach on MLK Day








Food from one of my favorite restuarants in the Bay Area




The Dogs Tired after a day at Muir Beach

So I have taught twice now. Tomorrow is the third day and there are twenty days total. As much as I am NOT a mathematical person I am starting to visual teaching writing in mathematical diagrams, patterns, and terms. I blame it on my mother who home schooled me and had a very mathematical sense of all things life.

On Tuesday one of my students asked me how do they find a topic or idea for an 8-18 page story (The major requirement of my class-they see ALL things in requirements and grades). And how long should they set aside to write such a daunting thing.

I told my student to look at it like a soduko puzzle. They laughed. Which is good, I want them to laugh. Then I explained that I am going to require a lot of short exercises on given topics (1-3 pages in length). Exercises are going to be like looking through a picture frame and writing what you see. (I like metaphors when teaching and I hope they understand my connections).

When the time comes to write that 18 pager I want them to take all of their exercises and spread them out in a grid on the floor. Next they need to tackle those exercises with a highlighter or multiple colors...and highlight what stands out, what sentences can be part of a larger story, what setting seems right, what is the action and conflict that seems the most tense, and most importantly what character is the most mysterious and interesting. Move your papers around in your "imaginary" grid and form a sequence with your pieces. This will become your story.

Then I listed these writing tips on the board:
1. Start looking around and you will start noticing things (the goal is to make readers notice things about life)
2. Learn to be engrossed by something outside of yourself. (Just like I noticed the robber)
3. Writing is making real or imagined events come alive
4. Writing is about learning to pay attention and to communicate what is going on
5. Don’t worry about doing it right or correctly- just write it down. (Even if it is hard to start writing. Anne Lamott said Starting to write is like having to tell someone some bad news-you are at a loss of words, you sit there staring at a blank screen. Don’t get caught up on this.)
6. Sometimes you have to write three pages to get to a beginning of a story or to that one paragraph that jumps out at you and sparks something bigger. (This is why I am a big fan of exercises-the more you write the more you story you will see)
7. Becoming a better writer is going to help you become a better reader. (Think about why we read? This is important because books help us understand who we are and how we are to behave.)
8. Pay attention to your favorite moments in published short stories (how is an author handling grief on the page? How is the author using dialogue?)

After that it didn't seem so daunting to them. I think they like me. I hope they like me. Tomorrow is day three and I am becoming less nervous and more excited.

Today at 4pm I teach my first class. I am getting so nervous. I am excited too, but these last 24 hours have been sort of neurotic. I have found that when I am nervous I can't sleep and instead recite my class plan out-loud over and over and over. Then when I am awake I write and re-type my class plan over and over and over. This repetition allows me to memorize my plan so I don't have to be reading it off a piece of paper and it's a way to release my nerves.

So for the sake of being nervous...I retype my class plan or script once again....

Day One-

Write Name, class number, and email on the board
Write quote on board: “Creative Writing means imaginative writing, writing as an art” Wallace Stegner

Introduce self: Not long ago I was sitting in your place, an undergrad at ucd taking a creative writing class as an elective. One creative writing class turned into another and then another and now I am writing a book. I look at creative writing like an art. It’s like looking at photographs or paintings and putting the pieces together.

In this class you are all going to be artists even if this is just a one time elective or if it becomes a life-long passion.

This is a workshop class. A workshop class is where we learn from each other. As an undergrad and now a graduate student I have learned some of my most valuable skills from my peers. I am not saying professors are not important, I just think there is a lot of value in learning from each other. We all have different perspectives and there is no right or wrong answer. I will be here to guide you throughout the qrt. But you will share your insights and ideas with each other as a way to succeed as observers and writers.

As we begin this qrt. I want to emphasize your role as observers, not just in the classroom but at anytime of the day, anywhere. This last summer I received a grant to travel to Costa Rica and write a story about the culture and people. I visited the most untraveled parts of costa rica. I wanted the real experience where tourists don’t go. I figured if I was going to write about Costa Rica I needed to be experiencing life off the beaten path. I never have been to Costa Rica and I didn’t know any Spanish. In the first few days of my trip I struggled and chipped my front tooth. I thought that would be my story: the struggle of being in a country where you don’t know the language. Then my group experienced a robbery at gun point in the middle of the night in my cabina. Imaging the face of the robber, I realized story is everywhere…not just what happens to me as a person. After the robbery I looked at the country differently. Every face I saw and everyone I met had a story to tell me. I could walk down the dirt roads and look into every open door of a house: women sweeping dirt floors, teenagers taking naps in the door frame, girls writing secrets in notebooks…the stories were everywhere. When I came home I remembered the imagery of the robbers face and I wrote his story.

I’m telling you about this experience because I want to emphasize that story is everywhere: in strange faces, in a sunset, in mysterious houses. You are the storytellers and this quarter you will find the story and learn how to put it on paper.

Since we will be working closely with each other this qrt. I think it is good to learn a little about each one of you. Let’s do some introductions

INTRODUCTIONS

Pass out candy, get into partners, interview, and report back to the class

Hand out Syllabus, show text books, and go over

Now lets talk a little bit about story. What are the basic elements you look for in a story?
Character, conflict, setting, theme, plot, point of view, voice, setting.
With these basics in mind lets look at our first story

Hand out story-read in class

Discussion:
Alexie- Do Not Go Gentle

How does Alexie use emotions in the story?
Uses emotion as a character by giving it a title.

What does this do for you as a reader? How does this add to the story?

What other emotions does Alexie use in the story and what is the purpose as a writer?
He uses anger, pride, grief, shame, humor, love
Alexie uses every emotion as a way to deal with the conflict in the story. This is different than the other parents (seen in the bathroom with the other fathers). These father’s DON’T deal with their emotions by judging the surface of other people. As a writer Alexie puts these men in the story to add contrast. Contrasting characters, emotions, objects add detail to the plot and story. They help the reader understand what the narrator is experiencing without just stating it.
This scene in the bathroom foreshadows the ending/last page of the story: The men in the bathroom are simpleminded while the narrator and his wife take an object and give it multiple meanings and emotions as a way to heal and deal with their son’s illness.
I also really wanted to show you this story today because I think it is a metaphor for beginning writers. Everything in life has a story and multiple meanings. As writers you are the observers, the ones who find stories in objects and people and give them meaning by putting them on the page.

Give Homework

After Christmas we went up to Mendocino for New Years and a relaxing week. Time flew by, but it was so much fun. It was warmer in Mendocino than it is in Davis. It rained very little. There were a ton of dogs, drinking, and Chordas merrymaking. We went mushroom hunting and were disappointed by the lack of mushrooms compared to last year. We found a few...



Even though the mushrooms were dismal it was still fun to search for them. Along with catching up on sleep, we had many adventures: I got good at playing pool. We ran from the cops who were searching for us with a spot light on highway 101. We ate lots of good food. We spent time with lots of family and friends (including the Towers family). And we rang in the New Year. It was your typical Chordas vacation. Every time I go to Mendocino it becomes harder to come home. Mendocino really feels like home for me. I really can see myself there...probably not in the village which is unaffordable, but around abouts. Along with perspective jobs at the community college there I also found out they have a publishing house in Fort Bragg- who knew?! So there is hope. I just have to write that dang CV.

I can't believe break is over on Monday. I try to think of New Years Resolutions but am not very good at keeping them. I tend to take things the moment they come. I do know I want to save more money and get a new computer. So the first resolution is a juxtaposition already-proving my point that I am terrible at keeping and making these sorts of things.

I do know that whatever 2009 brings me it will be new and a change. I'm gonna have my masters and should, hopefully, have some idea of what I am going to do with my life.

Instead of thinking forward I like to look back and think about how much was accomplished in 2008:

completing my first year at grad school
writing my first draft of my thesis
working with major writers: Dorothy Allison, James Houston, Yiyun Li
And of course the highlight of the year: COSTA RICA

So my dog trainer emailed this picture of her 6 dogs as a Christmas card...they were waiting by the front door for Santa.




I thought if she can do it with 6 dogs, then I can try with our 5....
As you can see the Chordas dogs are not as "refined"






It was impossible to get them to all look at the camera at the same time...so I stuck with 3 dogs versus 5

It's hard to believe how busy and fast time goes. I have had one and a half weeks off and managed to not look at my thesis edits nor turn my resume into a CV. Somehow I keep incredibly busy doing everything but school or work related stuff. I wash dishes, bake cookies, play with dogs, do holiday prep. For the first time in my life I feel like a housewife of sorts and I like it. I am enjoying avoiding the rest of life and look forward to the holiday fun tomorrow.

Time flies in every aspect of my life but one: the holidays are taking forever to get here...as a housewife it feels like you are continuously prepping for the celebration. At least by the time it comes you are good and ready and excited.
The dogs are even ready:

I never never thought I would say this...

but I think I am ready for my first mac computer.
It has been a long battle: mac or pc, pc or mac...and I kept going with windows because that is what I have always used and I am comfortable with it. Anytime I sat down to use a mac I would become highly irritable and flip out because my mouse wouldn't right click or I can't just click the X to exit a program. I've worked with this though and am now used to all the mac shortcuts. Since September I have only been using a mac at work on campus (they have choices but I forced myself to try the mac). I also watched and read hours of tutorials of switching from a PC to a mac. All of my family members own macbooks. I'm the last one who has been holding on strong to my PC roots. I've talked to people about switching. People who can't stand macs are the ones who don't switch. People who do switch tell me they don't even think about PCs anymore.
After this long computer therapy I now find myself highly irritated at my dell pc. It is five years old and is having major issues, but I think there are things I have picked up using on a mac that I now miss when using my PC. I also hate the virus thing. My PC had 60 viruses on it. I blame my students and all their emailed attachments. My computer is just so slow though. The other day I wanted to throw it out the window...instead I walked into an apply store and found my next computer:
It is the new macbook that is the most environmental computer out there. It is light like a feather and the keyboard clicks softly under my fingers. I dream of this computer...but then I think how expensive it is. I don't understand why I can get a Dell for $500 and this computer costs double if not more: $1218.00.
Why are macs so expensive?
For Christmas I don't really want any gifts. I would like some funds to go into my macbook savings. Perhaps I can combine xmas and graduation gifts and buy me a new macbook in May.
My dell better not crap-out before then...I've got a thesis to write.